How to Support a Loved One Struggling with Addiction Without Losing Yourself
Supporting someone with a substance use disorder can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. You want to help, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, confused, or even resentful. The good news? You can support your loved one without sacrificing your own mental health.
Helping vs. Enabling
It’s crucial to understand the difference between helping and enabling. Helping encourages healing and accountability. Enabling, on the other hand, may protect the person from consequences and prolong the addiction.
Common enabling behaviors include covering up mistakes, giving money, or making excuses. If you’re unsure, this Addiction Policy Forum article outlines the distinction.
Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are not about punishment—they’re about protection. You can say, “I love you, but I can’t support this behavior.” Healthy boundaries might include:
No substances in the home
Refusing to lie for them
Not providing financial support
These boundaries create structure, reduce chaos, and often serve as a wake-up call.
Encourage Treatment
You can’t force someone to change, but you can offer support and information. Normalize therapy, offer to help research treatment centers, or go with them to a consultation. This SAMHSA treatment locator can be a helpful first step.
Don’t Neglect Your Own Needs
Supporting someone in active addiction can lead to burnout. Engage in your own therapy, join a support group like Al-Anon, and protect time for self-care. You’re not selfish for taking care of yourself.
Final Thoughts
You’re not alone. Helping a loved one through addiction is hard—but healing is possible, for both of you. Set boundaries, seek help, and remember that your support matters.
